This came from a misunderstanding, and evolved to be something wonderful enough that I decided I wanted to elaborate on it more. A quick disclaimer: a lot of credit for this idea goes to fellow students.
Short and simple, this is a new way of ranking awesomeness, by using materials, namely materials you wear. Below is the hierarchy of fabric awesomeness:
- Silk - used for the highest level of awesome.
- Cotton - fairly practical, average. Generally necessary.
- Burlap - the penultimate un-awesome.
- Barrel - reserved for the embarrassingly un-awesome. Sarah Palin is a good example of something that is Barrel Awesome.
There was some struggle in trying to decide what fabrics to include, and which ones not to, because of course there are many others not listed which can be used for the same purposes (i.e. linen, rayon, hemp), but keeping it simple and easy to remember I think is key. People should feel free to improvise, as long as it’s clear what the kind of fabric you are using should be signifying. I also tried to keep it as generic as possible. Some people might prefer wool over cotton (don’t ask me why), but I took into account - as unbiased as possible - that wool is an animal product, does not breathe as well as cotton and tends to cause itchiness. Objective observations such as these can be applied to the entire list, but I will not bore you by going through them all. You’re not dumb, no doubt you can figure out why silk is #1, etc.
Just for kicks, here are some applicable examples of things that fall into each of the categories:
- Silk: Vegetarianism, world peace, universal love, Harry Potter
- Cashmere: Titanic, hybrids, Disney World, Nutella
- Velvet: Stuffed animals, hot chocolate, yoga, aluminium water bottles
- Cotton: Pants, sunscreen, maps
- Polyester: Dentists, celery, Keanu Reeves, wet socks
- Wool: Carpenter ants, Snakes on a Plane, broken bones, bell peppers
- Burlap: Hurricanes, homelessness, Rush Limbaugh
- Barrel: Factory farms, Global Warming
Trust me. It’s gonna be a thing. It’s silk!